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| "Cherish your work; take profit in the task.
Doing's the one reward a Man dare ask."
--John Updike, Midpoint |
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"Because you come to me with naught save love And hold my hand and lift mine eyes above, A wider world of hope and joy I see, Because you come to me. Because you speak to me in accent sweet, I find the roses waking 'round my feet. And I am led through tears and joy to thee, Because you speak to me. Because God made thee mine, I'll cherish thee Through light and darkness through all time to be And pray his love may make our love divine Because God made thee mine. |
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| Pastor Father John Gvostes married us. | |
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Our lives begin here! |
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Photos by my older brother Bill
Bill with his plane that he built! |
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Wedding Cake made by Oma! |
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Charlie's Mother |
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| Mothers were different in 1982. Charlie lived with his mother until he married me. When she heard he was going to marry me, she was horrified, and I understood. Any Greek mother in 1982 would be horrified that her son was marrying a divorced woman with three children who was not Greek. She refused to attend this wedding! However, on the day of the wedding cousin Mary from Salem called to tell Yiayia she would pick her up to go to the wedding. When we looked back in Church and saw her, we were thrilled. She even came to the reception!
It wasn't only Greek mothers! When I first dated Charlie in 1971, I called my mother and said, "I can imagine marrying this man." My mother, who had never uttered a swear word in her life, said "Oh s---!" and slammed down the phone. Her problem was that Charlie never went to college! Her response was difficult for me. I was always very close to my mother. However, time passes, changes things. My mother's angina problem caused recurring hospital times. She spent a lot of time after each one living with me, hearing how Charlie had kept in touch with the children and hearing Mia ask, "Can we invite Charlie to dinner?" Later Mia and I stopped at the shop and invited him. Charlie made an appetizer, fried liver dipped in a wine sauce wrapped in bacon, eaten on a stick. I think my mother began to love him then. In December 1980, my mother went to the hospital for the last time. She was on a respirator for 17 days and could only write notes when we visited her. Her last note said, "marry charlie". I stopped in the hospital every day before and after school, but one day there was a snow storm and no school. Charlie said he'd drive me after work to the hospital in Stoneham, I could visit with my mother, he would come back in awhile to pick me up and we could go to the Hart House for dinner. Late that night my older brother Bill called. He was with her when she died. |
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| The gravestone says "Thy Will Be Done" which is also on all the Flynn Family gravestones here. | |
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Ballymartin, County Mayo, Ireland Home of My Father's Father |
The original family home. |
The new home. |
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| The only member of my Grandparents' family who chose to stay in Ireland. | |
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| He was so nice. It was a lovely visit! I was so glad Charlie got me here. | |
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| When we first arrived, Charlie asked somone in town if he knew our cousin, who said,"Go to the dance Saturday night and you might find someone who knows him." He was right. A man Charlie met at the dance said, "Go to the Pub at 3:00 in the afternoon, and he'll be there".
That is how we met my cousin. And the dance was fun, the Irish music, the dancing and the people having a good time. |
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| We knocked on the door and found my grandmother Bridget Murray's family.
They were so welcoming! I was so happy! | |
They took us to Church. |
both new and ancient. |
We visited the family graves, |
both ancient and new. |
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| They took us around their property. | |
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| We got to know the children, the pets and the donkey. | |
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| A beautiful Family! | |
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| It was a thrill to be walking in my grandmother's footsteps.
I am so greatful for Charlie's encouraging me to find my ancesters while we were in Ireland. | |
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| 2">ON HIS CENTENARY, DUBLIN HONORS THE JOYCE IT ONCE SCORNED
The Irish nation, which shunned and often vilified James Joyce throughout his lifetime, celebrated his 100th birthday today with a joyful exuberance that would have tickled even Leopold Bloom. In this opening phase of a national celebration that is to last all year, there were speeches and special exhibitions, a highbrow symposium this afternoon and a high-spirited anniversary banquet this evening. The bar in Blooms, a gleaming new hotel named for the hero of ''Ulysses,'' was serving ''Molly Bloom cocktails,'' a blend of orange juice and Irish Mist, and in its lobby there sat a birthday cake shaped like the seaside Martello tower where the opening scene of the book is set. "In a sense, Ireland is paying Joyce back for all those years when he was an outcast here" said Robert Nicholson, who runs a Joyce museum that has been established in the tower. "Finally, he is appreciated here at home". --The New York Times |
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One of Charlie's goasl in Ireland was to find my ancesters. I was so excited to be in Dublin on James Joyce's 100th Anniversary that one of my goals in was to find places from James Joyce's stories. |
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| "God, he said quietly. Isn't the sea what Algy calls it: a grey sweet mother? The snotgreen sea. . . . Ah, Dedalus, the Greeks. I must teach you. You must read them in the original. Thalatta! Thalatta! She is our great sweet mother. Come and look." --Ulysses, chapter 1. | |
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The Originals
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hmmm....! |
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| Our first date was in 1971 with my best friend Helen and her husband Bob, Charlie's childhood friend. Helen had tickets to a Boston Theater to see Jacque Brel. It was love at first date for Charlie and me, which made me nervous. When I caught myself walking too close to him down Tremont Street I would move away.
Charlie first met my children at the Whittier Motel, which had a small dining room, and a small bar. Charlie was the bartender. I didn't have a car. Helen would call me every once-in-a-while and say let's take the kids to the Whittier for dinner. She'd drive over in her blue Volkswagen bug with the red stripe she had painted on the roof and we'd pack the kids in. We were always the only ones in the dining room and no one was ever in the bar, probably because we were so early. They knew if they behaved well we'd go after dinner to Dairy Queen Charlie and I went out together for a year and a half. Then I made a decision. I had to raise these children and finish my education. We stopped seeing each other. But Charlie and my children had stayed in touch. They'd walk across from school to the shop and he'd bring them to Dairy Queen, they'd called him on the phone. He took one to a doctor to have a mold removed and one to a college interview. In the winter of 1980 when my two oldest girls were in college and the youngest in high school, Helen did it again. They were returning from a trip, Charlie was picking them up at the airport, and why didn't I drive in with him. I did. We went back to their house while they changed. I was alone in the living room with Charlie and I said, "Do you remember when you wanted to marry me?" He smiled and said Yes. "Do you still"? "Yes." That was in February. We got engaged on St. Patrick's Day and married in June. |
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| The cobbler "and his wife" is not accurate.
This trip to China was Charlie's last full trip alone, in February before our wedding in June. On future trips, I had to leave after 10 days to go back to work and Charlie headed to another country. I was sad, but I knew how he looked forward to these adventures | |
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Our New Home. |
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| Our new home added a garage, a fireplace, a back deck and a FRONT PORCH. | |
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Charlie & his brother George brought the boat down from Maine to its mooring at Ipswich Wharf. They said it was a wild ride, cloudy, raining and a rough sea, but Charlie looked so happy. Charlie and George named this boat Adelphia (brothers). Our boat just before this one was called 'ippy, the name of Charlie's online clog business. Adelphia 24 years later is still moored in the same spot, still in the Tsoutsouras family. |
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Mia loves our new boat! |
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It was the 900th anniversary of the Cathedral. We got a call from the Brecon School to tell us that Prince Charles, the Duke of Wales, would be attending the morning prayer at the Cathedral, and that we would be invited to attend the Service and the garden party following the Service |
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Our Students |
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| The Cobblers' Altar | |
The Guild of Cordwainers (cobblers) |
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| Prince Charles looked at me and shouted, "Are these all yours?" I thought he meant my own children, so I yelled, "No!"
He walked over, shook my hand and asked, smiling, if I had them under control. Then he shook the kids' hands. One of my students took these photos. | |
| As we were leaving Brecon we said, "You gave us Prince Charles. Who could we have for you to match that?" Someone said, "John Updike" and everyone cheered. So, the next time John was here for poker, I mentioned this, and he said he would be happy to come to our house and meet them. It was an awesome afternoon. John talked to them, they asked questions, and Charlie had a clambake waiting in the back yard. | |
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| Click here for the rest of our story. |
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| Bette Home Page |
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